I've lost my tether.
Several times a day I feel certain I'll slowly unravel, all the loose strings dangling from my fabric so easily pulled.
Countless others have lost, felt pain, suffered tragedy worse than mine, and although I remind myself of this, it doesn't seem to pull me from the self absorbed dolor I am a currently mired in. It feels wrong to blithely move on, cheery mask in place, equally mad to wallow in a dark room never moving.
At the very least the world should stop, I feel, and for just a moment acknowledge her grace, kindness, patience, strength... her value.
The world won't stop.
5 comments:
The world won't stop, but neither will the memory of our lovely mother. It is very hard to know how to respond when people as "How was your summer? Did you do something fun?" Do I answer with the a story about going to the Oregon coast or do I make it awkward by mentioning that my mom passed away? I have to admit it depends on who asks. I think about her every day and I think I always will. Remember that we are thinking of her together!! She would want you not to get stuck in the mire for sure. It would make her sad. So think of her and live your life in a way that would make her happy and proud. That's what I plan to do!
If only there were magical words that would help ease the heartache or heal. I am so sorry you lost your mother. I can only imagine it is like gravity being removed from the earth. Please know prayers are being sent your (and the rest of the families) way. I wish I could have been at the funeral to pay my respects as well. Her value is immeasurable.
Jenette
Well spoken.
It all just seems like too much and there IS no right thing to say to make things better. At least nothing I've heard yet.
But, I'm hoping for some peace.
I know mom wouldn't want us to just stop- even if that is all we want to do. So, if for no other reason than she would want me to, I will push on.
I LOVE YOU!
(ok...the word verification is this
"fullocalm"...seriously.)
I was so touched by this post because you put into words how I felt when my grandma passed away. I was so mad at the cars going past as we drove to the cemetary...Didn't they understand what the world just lost? They were just going about a normal day and I was in so much pain.So....I get what you're saying and I don't have any words to offer to make it go away....hang in there....I think about you often :)
Your words say it all. We miss her so much. I have been having the hardest time getting my memories typed up for Karen and a part of that is because I feel it will make it official that she really is gone, not coming back. How can the world go on without such a wonderful person...It will go on as we remember her and honor the life she lived and live as she would have lived. No one will ever take her place. It takes time to heal, but it will come... Love you Celiac!
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